Admin Sarcasm On Why The Server Is So Slow

by on Jun.22, 2011, under Jokes, Politics

Per section 6.1 Navigational Deflector of the starship maintenance manual, I think it’s encountering slip stream collisions due to failure to properly install secondary deflector. Suggest installation/repair of secondary deflector to assist stabilization and performance enhancement.

“When entering into Quantum Slip Stream speeds the Auxiliary deflector system plays a critical role in establishing a stable slip stream conduit through which matter can pass. The Ventral deflector contains a series of 4 graviton flux inverters which allow the near perfect stabilization of a slip stream conduit without the need for perpetual polaric modulation by the main deflector system. The entire deflector network is tied directly into the compute and NAV COM core which then ties into the slip stream generator and the Flight Control data processors. While slip stream speeds can be attained without the use of the secondary deflector it severely limits the vessels flight time to three minutes every six hours, and greatly increases the risk of slip stream collision.”

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by on Mar.21, 2011, under Jokes, Linux

Details (From the Web Page)

QLogic has new firmware updates out for their ql2400 and ql2500 devices, version 5.03.16!

They still won’t tell me (or anyone) what this update does, much less share the code. So, without further ado, here is my top ten list of things I think are hidden in the 5.03.16 firmware update:

  1. Jimmy Hoffa
  2. Copies of the ET Atari 2600 video game.
  3. Snakes. Lots and lots of snakes.
  4. High Fructose Corn Syrup
  5. Stuxnet
  6. Duke Nukem Forever
  7. Styrofoam Packing Peanuts
  8. Vermeer’s “The Concert”
  9. Charlie Sheen
  10. The Holy Grail

Feel free to email all complaints and bugs to While you’re at it, feel free to ask them why they are afraid to show the code for their device firmware to anyone.

For more information about this update please visit this website:

The order is reversed in the Software Update details:

10. Jimmy Hoffa 9. Copies of the ET Atari 2600 video game. 8. Snakes. Lots and lots of snakes. 7. High Fructose Corn Syrup 6. Stuxnet 5. Duke Nukem Forever 4. Styrofoam Packing Peanuts 3. Vermeer’s “The Concert” 2. Charlie Sheen 1. The Holy Grail

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Teach A Man To Fish

by on Apr.16, 2010, under Jokes, Sundry

Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and if he doesn’t beat you with the pole, he will resent you for a lifetime.

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Change Freeze Flowchart

by on Dec.01, 2008, under Jokes, Politics

Well, I had a nice 4 days off. Moved all the stuff out of my apartment, and enjoyed the the last few days in a totally empty 2 bedroom, 2 bath, apartment.  Just a laptop, a sleeping bag on a Thai mattress, and certain state of Zen.

Now it’s time to get back to work.  Since we are in the middle of a change freeze that lasts until the end of the year, it was requested the we create charts, graphs , and flowcharts for the systems we manage.  Below is the work flowchart I came up with for the next few weeks.

              YES   =============================   NO
       +-----------|| Does the Darn Thing work? ||-----------+
       |            =============================            |
       V                                                     V
  +----------+     +---------+                          +---------------+
  |   Don't  |  NO |   Does  |       +-------+     YES  | DID ATTEMPT   |
  |   mess   | +---|  anyone |<------|  YOU  |<---------| TO FIX THE    |
  | with it! | |   |  know?  |       | MORON |          | PROBLEM WORK? |
  +----------+ |   +---------+       +-------+          +---------------+
       |       V          | YES                                 |  NO
       |  +-----------+   +------+                              |
       |  |DESTROY THE|          V                              V
       |  |EVIDENCE   |   +----------------+             +------------+
       |  +-----------+   |                |        YES  | Does anyone|
       |       |          |    YOUR        |<------------| know?      |
       |       |          |      FIRED!    |             +------------+
       |       |          |                |                   |  NO
       |       |          |                |                   |
       |       |          +----------------+                   V
       |       |                                         +-----------+
       |       |                                         |DESTROY THE|
       |       |                                         |  EVIDENCE |
       |       |                                         +-----------+
       |       |                                               |
       |       |                                               |
       |       |        ============================           |
       |       +------>||           N O            ||<---------+
       +-------------->||      P R O B L E M       ||
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